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If You Want Growth, Help Others GROW!

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If you want growth, help others grow.” ~Tony Abbacchi

Do you remember January 1st, 2010? It seems like so long ago, but I remember it was my first foray into group coaching when I launched a six-week coaching program for  women.

What began with ten women ended with five. After the six weeks, I remember feeling very disappointed and asking myself what could I have done differently to keep the five who did not follow through. I hadn’t yet learned what coaching was about. I thought it meant shouldering the responsibility for the those five women, and if I didn’t and they failed, I was to be blamed. I remember talking it through with my own coach and she said, “You can take the horse to the water, but you can’t force it to drink!” Lesson learned!

That self-reflection and self-blame nearly caused me to miss the growth of the other five. What did they do differently? They stuck it out and did the work.

Of the five who dropped out, three are still struggling today, 10 years later. The point is not to call them out (because I would not), but to ask the “What if?” question.

“Dare to dream, but even more importantly, dare to put action behind your dreams.” ~Josh Hinds

Over the past ten years, I haven’t strayed from my mission of supporting women. While I began by engaging in many “under-the-radar” activities with through mentoring and pro bono coaching, in the latter years, the engagement became more public and group-oriented.

“Incremental progress keeps us engaged and helps us grow.”

The start of this particular decade – 2020 – is rare and special. Rare, because it’s the only time we will be able to say we have perfect, 20/20 vision, and claim that “we can see clearly now”. Special, because it’s ‘Double 20’, an opportunity to receive a double dose of whatever we are dreaming of, or aspiring towards – if we persist.

Are you ready to seize the opportunity? Are you ready to GROW?

My vision for 2020 is all about  – Transformation and GROWth. Through my Let’s GROW project, I have committed to helping 20 women grow in 2020. This is specifically for the individuals who are participants in my Sip, Paint & GROW project on January 11, 2020, International Vision Board Day.

We will also be tapping into the growth vs fixed mindset idea advocated by Dr. Carol Dweck in her book, MINDSET: The New Psychology of Success.

Here’s a quick overview of the program, which comes into effect after the January 11th Let’s GROW event. I will be:

  • Facilitating coaching conversations through a private Facebook group for one full year, literally for FREE!* There are restrictions. See below.
  • Putting together a generous and motivated group of women committed to building give and take relationships** to advance their own careers, and by default, advancing the careers of others. It will not only be taking, but giving back and helping others (e.g. giving of their time, sharing their resources and network, and making connections).
  • Writing a book to chronicle stories worth sharing:  personal stories, or our dreams and aspirations. While it’s not mandatory, this book opportunity is restricted to any attendee from this 2020 cohort, if they choose. If you are an original member of the Let’s GROW group, and you wish to be a contributor to the book, please contact me.

My overall goal for the Group is for all of us to “contribute wherever we can without keeping score.” (Dr. Adam Grant), and help someone else GROW!

CAVEAT:

  • These coaching conversations* are limited and separate and apart from my regular services. For e.g., if you have a question around interviews or need clarity on an issue, you can ask me, but it’s not a substitute for interview coaching or other services.
  • Other than me, no participant / member is expected to offer FREE coaching services. That would be asking too much of them. However, as part of building a giving and taking relationship, they are asked to offer and receive what I call “Five Minute Favours”. After all, we are building a community.

As Tony Abbacchi says “When you give with expectations, not only will your reputation suffer but so will your mindset.”

** The Give and Take and “Five Minute Favours” concepts come from Dr. Adam Grant’s book Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Success.

As you begin 2020, here are six questions to ask yourself:

  1. Am I happier now than ten years ago?
  2. What have I done?
  3. What have I learned?
  4. Who have I become?
  5. Am I where I want to be?
  6. Where do I see myself a decade from now?

Are you ready to seize the opportunity? Are you ready to GROW? Contact me now, or engage the services of a coach who can guide you, but please, do something!

To your success!

10 Practical Career Decisions You Can Make in 2013

2013-New-Year-Clock-Facebook-Cover-PhotoAs you welcome 2013, are there things you are holding onto that you should have let go in 2012? Are there people, situations, or ideas that you need to let go of in order to embrace all the opportunities awaiting you this year? If you have identified something or some people holding you back, it’s time to let go and forge full steam ahead. Here are ten career decisions you could make that will move you forward this year:

  1. Let go of ‘I should have, could’ve, can’t, won’t, what ifs, and buts’.  You may have missed out on opportunities because you were second guessing yourself, but they are gone and there is nothing you can about them now. Instead, focus on “I can and I will”.
  2. Let go of the negative people around you. You can spot them easily – the ones who always seem to have a ‘doom-and-gloom-glass-half-empty’ syndrome. This may not be easy as sometimes the cynics among us include people near and dear to us. But, if you would like to start the New Year on a positive footing, you will have to make the decision to reduce or minimize the time spent with pessimists, and embrace those who see obstacles as opportunities. It was Winston Churchill who remarked that “A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
    Surround yourself with optimists.
  3. Let go of the activities that are not leading you towards goal achievement. Question yourself: “Is what I am currently doing leading me towards where I want to go?” If the answer is “No”, then it’s time to let go!
  4. Let go of your doubts and failures and appreciate your gifts.  Refrain from comparing your abilities with those of others and stop dwelling on your failures. You have a unique gift that you were endowed with. Recognize and use this gift so you can become better today than you were yesterday.
  5. Stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone. Get off the comfort zone couch and make room to experience something new and refreshing! Your comfort zone is the circle of people you are comfortable interacting with. If you continue to live in that ‘easy chair’ circle, you are not giving yourself an opportunity to expand your horizons.
  6. Evaluate your network. Take an inventory of the people in your network and make sure it includes people whose strengths are your weaknesses. You will be able to learn from these individuals and fill in your skill gaps. Leadership coach, John Maxwell notes in his book, 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, that “It’s hard to improve when you have no one but yourself to follow.”
  7. Create a vision for your life or career. Visualize what your career or your life should look like by the end of 2013. What do you want to accomplish? Is it time to invest in yourself by enrolling in an online course? Is it time to invest in a coach who will guide, encourage, support and hold you accountable to attaining your goal(s)?
  8. Engage in a self-reflection exercise. Spend some time to answer the following questions: Who am I? What or who do I need to let go of in order to move forward? Where do I see myself in the next 12 months? What is it that I am good at that I would like to continue doing? How can I begin to reshape my destiny? Tony Robbins once said, “It’s in your moments of decisions that your destiny is shaped”. Are you ready to shape or reshape your destiny? If the answer is “Yes”, what small step could you take today to propel you forward?
  9. Take ownership of your career. Are you feeling like you are a prisoner in your job? Do you feel like you are suffocating? You can become the person you want to be; you can get the promotion you so desperately need, but the responsibility is on you. It’s time to take ownership for your own professional development. It’s time to believe in yourself and your capabilities, then learn how to articulate your value to your next employer. Re-read #7 above.
  10. Get rid of the ANTs in your head. Psychiatrist Daniel G. Amen refers to these ANTs as those Automatic Negative Thoughts that fill our heads most of the time…the thoughts we engage in day-after-day with ourselves that hold us down instead of moving us forward. Replace those thoughts with something positive and uplifting. Choose your thoughts carefully because your thoughts manifest themselves as things later on.

Having read the above, are you ready to let go of what’s not serving you and commit to a fresh in 2013? If you are, then let’s talk, or share your thoughts below.

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PS: Image courtesy of 25dip.com