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If You Want Growth, Help Others GROW!

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If you want growth, help others grow.” ~Tony Abbacchi

Do you remember January 1st, 2010? It seems like so long ago, but I remember it was my first foray into group coaching when I launched a six-week coaching program for  women.

What began with ten women ended with five. After the six weeks, I remember feeling very disappointed and asking myself what could I have done differently to keep the five who did not follow through. I hadn’t yet learned what coaching was about. I thought it meant shouldering the responsibility for the those five women, and if I didn’t and they failed, I was to be blamed. I remember talking it through with my own coach and she said, “You can take the horse to the water, but you can’t force it to drink!” Lesson learned!

That self-reflection and self-blame nearly caused me to miss the growth of the other five. What did they do differently? They stuck it out and did the work.

Of the five who dropped out, three are still struggling today, 10 years later. The point is not to call them out (because I would not), but to ask the “What if?” question.

“Dare to dream, but even more importantly, dare to put action behind your dreams.” ~Josh Hinds

Over the past ten years, I haven’t strayed from my mission of supporting women. While I began by engaging in many “under-the-radar” activities with through mentoring and pro bono coaching, in the latter years, the engagement became more public and group-oriented.

“Incremental progress keeps us engaged and helps us grow.”

The start of this particular decade – 2020 – is rare and special. Rare, because it’s the only time we will be able to say we have perfect, 20/20 vision, and claim that “we can see clearly now”. Special, because it’s ‘Double 20’, an opportunity to receive a double dose of whatever we are dreaming of, or aspiring towards – if we persist.

Are you ready to seize the opportunity? Are you ready to GROW?

My vision for 2020 is all about  – Transformation and GROWth. Through my Let’s GROW project, I have committed to helping 20 women grow in 2020. This is specifically for the individuals who are participants in my Sip, Paint & GROW project on January 11, 2020, International Vision Board Day.

We will also be tapping into the growth vs fixed mindset idea advocated by Dr. Carol Dweck in her book, MINDSET: The New Psychology of Success.

Here’s a quick overview of the program, which comes into effect after the January 11th Let’s GROW event. I will be:

  • Facilitating coaching conversations through a private Facebook group for one full year, literally for FREE!* There are restrictions. See below.
  • Putting together a generous and motivated group of women committed to building give and take relationships** to advance their own careers, and by default, advancing the careers of others. It will not only be taking, but giving back and helping others (e.g. giving of their time, sharing their resources and network, and making connections).
  • Writing a book to chronicle stories worth sharing:  personal stories, or our dreams and aspirations. While it’s not mandatory, this book opportunity is restricted to any attendee from this 2020 cohort, if they choose. If you are an original member of the Let’s GROW group, and you wish to be a contributor to the book, please contact me.

My overall goal for the Group is for all of us to “contribute wherever we can without keeping score.” (Dr. Adam Grant), and help someone else GROW!

CAVEAT:

  • These coaching conversations* are limited and separate and apart from my regular services. For e.g., if you have a question around interviews or need clarity on an issue, you can ask me, but it’s not a substitute for interview coaching or other services.
  • Other than me, no participant / member is expected to offer FREE coaching services. That would be asking too much of them. However, as part of building a giving and taking relationship, they are asked to offer and receive what I call “Five Minute Favours”. After all, we are building a community.

As Tony Abbacchi says “When you give with expectations, not only will your reputation suffer but so will your mindset.”

** The Give and Take and “Five Minute Favours” concepts come from Dr. Adam Grant’s book Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Success.

As you begin 2020, here are six questions to ask yourself:

  1. Am I happier now than ten years ago?
  2. What have I done?
  3. What have I learned?
  4. Who have I become?
  5. Am I where I want to be?
  6. Where do I see myself a decade from now?

Are you ready to seize the opportunity? Are you ready to GROW? Contact me now, or engage the services of a coach who can guide you, but please, do something!

To your success!

Do You Have a Growth Mindset?

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It’s not easy to deal with interview rejections, especially after having had 11, without a job offer. It’s not easy to function when the promotion you had in mind did not materialize. It’s not easy to see the light when you are in the doldrums, and conversations become littered with self-limiting declarations such as, “What’s wrong with me…?… I will never… I should have…”.

Renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck has done a lot of research on people’s mindsets: how they see themselves either limited by their circumstances (fixed mindset), or having the ability to grow regardless of their circumstances (growth mindset). I first became aware of her work while completing the CELDC (Certified Executive Leadership Development Coach) program, and learning strategies on how to identify and coach clients who were stuck in a fixed mindset.

Dr. Dweck describes both mindsets as follows:

In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success — without effort. They’re wrong.

In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work — brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.

Here is my question: which mindset do you have? Do you have a fixed mindset that tells you where you are today is where you will always be? Do you subscribe to the notion that “it is what it is; this is my destiny and things won’t get any better”? Or, do you have a growth mindset? One that tells you that today is the beginning, not the end; that things can and will get better; that if you commit, persevere and follow through, you will grow and get to where you need to go.

 

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The latter mindset is a better choice. There are no limits to your capabilities. Today’s disappointments are just temporary setbacks allowing you to retool and get back in the race. While I am not trivializing anyone’s situation, especially as I have been on both sides of this issue, I know it feels much better to be in growth mindset where possibilities exist; where we can jump over barriers and bounce back even when things didn’t go as planned.

We are not all ‘Positive Pollyannas’, being blindly optimistic. We are allowed to have a pity party now and again, but there comes a time when the pity party has to end and we put our minds to work. Do we want to stagnate or do we want to grow? Are we going to continue staring at the closed door of lost opportunity or do we embrace the small window that has just opened up for us? As Dr. Dweck rightly said, “You are in charge of your mind. You can help it grow by using it in the right way.”

Try this short quiz from Dr. Dweck to help you determine your mindset: Fixed versus Growth Mindset.

 

Who is Hindering Your Career Growth?

GrowthThis is your Monday Morning Rx. It is something I saved in my archives from 2008. I have been unable to find the author, but in re-printing it here in its abridged format, I am paying tribute to that Unknown Author:

One day all the employees reached the office and they saw a big sign on the door on which it was written:

“Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. Please go straight to the gym to pay your last respects.”

In the beginning, they were all sad for the passing of one of their colleagues, but after a while they became curious to find out who was the person who was so powerful to hinder the growth of his/her colleagues and the company. The nearer they got to the coffin, the more their curiosity peaked. Everyone thought: “Who is this person who was hindering my progress? Well, at least this person is out of the way!”

One by one the employees looked inside the coffin and they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin, and everyone who looked inside it could see a reflection of himself or herself.

There was also a sign next to the mirror that said:

“There is only one person who is capable of setting limits to your growth: it is YOU. Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your parents change, when your partner changes, when your company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs.

Pause for a minute. Look in the mirror. Could this be you? Have you been looking outward and blaming someone for your lack of progress in your job, career or your life? Have you been the one hindering your own growth? If so, it’s time to stop playing the blame game and take ownership of your growth. And, even if someone is deliberately trying to hinder your growth, think of ways to circumvent that. Harness all the power that YOU have and begin to make a difference in your job, your career or your life.

Motivational speaker, Les Brown said: “The only thing that can possibly keep you from going after your dream is the person standing in your shoes, wearing your clothes, and thinking your negative thoughts.

What’s the one thing you could do today that would put you on a path of growth?

To our success,

daisyname